Ok, so I have to admit that I’m trying to write this post all while knowing that House of Cards Season 4 is calling my name from the Netflix queue….have you seen that show?! It will literally suck you in, make you disgusted with politics (if you aren’t already), but then in some strange way, magically keep you glued to the boob tube for hours. Don’t do it…or do it…but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
So this recipe ya’ll. THIS RECIPE YA’LL. Let me start by saying, I’m pregnant. And I’m in the “I need all the food that I need and I need it now” stage. And if you so much as look at me with a sideways glance while I devour said “needed food,” than I will cut you. With my eyes, straight to your judgmental soul.
WOW, hormones much?
See, I told you I was pregnant, I started out talking about the recipe, and then got all crazy about hypothetical judgement, and now
I’m crying my eyes are watering because of the onions I had to cut for this recipe. I’m all over the place!
Back to the food because I guess that is the point of this blog. So, there’s this INSANELY delicious little hole in the wall restaurant off of the Riverwalk here in San Antonio that I adore. Seating is outdoors, and your food is ordered from and cooked in an old shipping container turned kitchen. It’s a mix of delicious gourmet sandwiches, salads, and these fries that will BLOW YOUR MIND. They are straight up called “crack fries” on the menu, and you can get them topped with an assortment of sauces and even a fried egg….I mean…I don’t even know what to say after that. Just let that sink in for a minute. Anytime we’re in that area, we have to make a stop for the fries and our favorite sandwich, the “Tico”.
Being that we don’t live close by currently, this preggo has been craving the crack fries something fierce, so I decided I had to create my own paleo friendly version to satisfy the hunger. Besides, BABY wanted fries, not me. I’m just listening to my kiddo.
Though nothing will ever be as good as the real deal to me, these fries come in a close second! They’re crisp, covered liberally in salt and pepper, and topped with a sweet and spicy special sauce and finely diced onions—just like mama remembers them. You can have these fries alone, with the sauce on the side for dipping, or smothered (like we like ‘em)…but you have to eat them right away. Number one, because you seriously won’t want to stop, and number two, I have yet to find a fry recipe that reheats well. If you have the secret, please share!
Anyways, without further ado, I present to you, the fries to end all fries.
4 medium Russet Potatoes, cut into ¼ inch fries
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp tapioca flour
1 tsp sea salt
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Scrub potatoes well. Cut fries into 1/4 – 1/2 in sections (leaving skins on). Add to a large bowl and cover with cold water.
3. Soak fries in water for about 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, drain, rinse and lay out on towel to dry completely, blotting any excess moisture.
4. In a large bowl, whisk oil, tapioca flour and salt together. Place fries in bowl and gently toss to coat with oil/flour mixture.
5. Line baking sheet with parchment paper and place fries on sheet. Be careful not to crowd the fries, this is super important and will result in a more steamed french fry and not so crispy.
6. Bake in the oven at 425 for 15 minutes. Flip fries over and cook for another 15-20 minutes or until lightly browned and crispy.
1 egg, room temp
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/4 cup of light tasting olive oil, divided (NOT extra virgin—this will throw off the taste)
3 tbsp honey
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 – 1/2 white onion, finely diced (optional)
1. In a food processor, place the egg, lemon juice, ground mustard, salt, and 1/4 cup of oil. Slightly blend, about 10 seconds until mixed.
2. With processor running, SLOWLY (i’m talking a very fine drizzle) add the remaining 1 cup of olive oil to the mixture. As you add, the sauce should start to thicken to mayo-like consistency. This whole process should take at LEAST a minute if you are drizzling appropriately.
3. Turn off food processor and add honey and garlic, then blend until fully incorporated.
4. Serve on the side with fries for dipping, or drizzle over fries and top with finely diced white onion.
Shoutout to whoever can tell me what little restaurant this recipe was inspired by!